giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize