Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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