this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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