Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
