Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
When are your genitals available?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
