my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
