She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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