I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
