Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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