she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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