If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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