I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
