My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
