I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
