Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
