Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
