mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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