If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
