You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
