found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize