Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
