I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
