these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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