You really coming over, don't trick.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
