Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
