How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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