I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
