I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize