Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
