I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
