I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
