Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the day after is always just damage control
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize