TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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