is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
