I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
