I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
