Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
