I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
