this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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