Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
