she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
