no. you can't hotbox the world.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
