after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
