I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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