Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
