dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
