Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I need to calm my uterus...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
