we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
