I cannot find my penis.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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