...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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