Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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