Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i dont even know how to be here
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
