also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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