Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
