i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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