I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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