yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
