whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
