my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
