i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
