I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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