they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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