please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
