i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
