so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
