I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
