So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
