Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
