I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
