after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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