If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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