I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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