Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
