My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
