don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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