so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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