Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
