Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
