i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
