the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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