I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How naked do you want me to be?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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