Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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